


Methyphobia

by agentsimmons



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: (but only a bro because what the hell joss/marvel), Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alcohol Withdrawal, Alcoholic Tony Stark, Alcoholics Anonymous, Angst, BAMF Bruce Banner, BAMF Natasha, Bruce Angst, Bruce Banner & Tony Stark Friendship, Bruce Banner Has Issues, Bruce Banner Needs a Hug, Bruce Feels, Canon Divergence - Post-Avengers (2012), Eventual Happy Ending, Falling In Love, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, M/M, Minor Bruce Banner/Betty Ross, Minor Clint Barton/Natasha Romanov, Natasha Is a Good Bro, On Hiatus, Past Abuse, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Character Death, Past Child Abuse, Poor Bruce, Post-Avengers (2012), Protective Natasha Romanov, Science Boyfriends, Science Bros, Tony Stark Has Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-29
Updated: 2015-06-07
Packaged: 2018-04-01 19:29:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4031863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agentsimmons/pseuds/agentsimmons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bruce Banner is afraid of a lot of things and not without good reason, but love and alcohol top that list. So why would he ever allow himself to fall in love with an alcoholic?</p><p>[Currently On Hiatus With Intent To Finish - May Get A Rewrite]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

"And that concludes the official grand tour," Tony says as the other Avengers stand around awkwardly in his semi-destroyed penthouse.

They've just finished having an equally awkward meal in the city and after a long 48 hours they're pretty much just looking for a place to crash for the night. But, of course, Tony doesn't have any plans for letting them disband that easily. They've just saved the world together. Further celebration is in order.

"Look, unless you're going to throw one of your famous Stark parties," Clint begins with a slow shrug, "then show me a room or else I'm just going to build a nest right here and call it a night. And you really don't want that."

"A nest..." Tony looks around the room and then at Natasha as he points at Clint. "Did he just...?"

"Make a joke about myself being some kind of bird freak that builds nests because everybody else does?" Clint tilts his head and then nods. "Yeah. Try to keep up, Mr. Genius."

"I think there should be a billionaire, playboy, philanthropist in there somewhere," Bruce adds dryly, although not looking at them. He seems to be in another world as he stands in the middle of the crater left behind by the Other Guy.

Tony smiles wider than he has in several hours as he practically begins a charge over to the other brilliant scientist. 

"Have I mentioned how much I love this guy?" He points at Bruce and nods enthusiastically as he looks at the other four.

"Uh, yeah. Only about three times on the way to dinner, a few times at dinner, and then a few more on the way back," Clint answers to the point.

"And you weren't even there to see him swoon all over the command center when he first met Banner," Natasha adds, a lilt in her voice.

"Sorry I missed it," Clint responds unironically, knowing full well the reason why he missed it.

"And I'm sorry about your floor," Bruce says forlornly as Tony stands beside him, the others moving closer to study it as well. 

"Are you kidding me?" Tony places a reassuring hand on Bruce's shoulder. It'll be the first of many. "This is the kind of remodeling I'm into. Who needs a contractor when you've got a Hulk? You barged into my tower like you owned the place and took out the punk - no offense Thor - like some kind of guard dog. I should have this hole immortalized, big guy. Not everyday your floor gets smashed by the Hulk. You know, could you imagine an interior design show with the Hulk? That would be a hit. A _smash_ hit."

"Are _you_ smashed, Tony?" Clint asks with a snort of laughter.

Tony feels Bruce's muscles tense beneath his hand and takes it as his cue to let go. He turns back around to the others. "No, I am not smashed, but after the day I've had I should be. We all should be. Good thing the bar is still in tact."

"There is no Midgardian ale that can drunken me," Thor responds with strong conviction. "But I will be glad to drink with you, my new friends."

"I don't know how much Howard told you about me, but I can't get drunk either," Steve replies next. "I can drink, but it feels kind of like, I don't know, a _wasted effort_ now."

"Did you just intentionally make a pun? Captain America can be punny?" Tony looks at Steve in disbelief before moving behind his bar and pulling out as much alcohol as he can get his hands on.

"We had puns in the 1940s believe it or not," Steve answers with a nod.

"Well, I for one _can_ get hammered and after the two days I've had, I'm looking forward to it," Clint announces.

"You might want to rethink any hammer jokes with Thor around," Tony warns with a boyish smirk. He then looks at Natasha with a raised eyebrow. "And what about you, Natalie? You seemed pretty reserved at my last shindig. Wanna try again? Let loose this time?"

"You know, personally, I would have let the Palladium kill you, Stark. But luckily Fury made the call and I respect him. I won't get drunk, but you owe me the best alcohol you have for being so good about it." 

"Palladium?" Bruce interrupts from where he's still standing in the Hulk crater. He turns to look at Tony questioningly. "Don't tell me your old reactor was made from Palladium."

"Uh," Tony hesitates. He then blinks a few times as Bruce continues to stare at him. He puffs up his cheeks with air and then lets it out harshly. "Yeah, guilty. Not my most glorious moments, admittedly."

"That's a gross understatement," Natasha leers. 

"How are you alive?" Bruce ignores the former Russian assassin for a moment, his attention still fixed on Tony. "Palladium in your bloodstream should have killed you. I've seen what eroded Palladium can do first hand."

It isn't spoken, but somehow there is a solemn understanding between them in the short silence that passes before Tony answers. Neither one of them should be alive. They shouldn't be having this conversation with one another. They're walking testaments of this strange new era of science. 

"Honestly, I shouldn't be standing here. I _was_ dying. Natasha can tell you the whole story sometime. She had a blast. But, you know, the universe decided Tony Stark still had some things left to do in this world I guess. I rediscovered a new element, Badassium, got a few doses of some miracle drug from S.H.I.E.L.D. - thanks again, Romanoff - that helped take the edge off, and the new reactor took care of the rest."

Bruce looks around in confusion, clearly debating something in his mind, and then finally looks at Natasha.

"If you're going to ask about the antitoxin, the answer is yes, Dr. Banner," Natasha says before he can speak and Tony cocks his head curiously. 

"So you did use lithium dioxide?" Bruce licks his lips, uncertain.

"It was the only thing that could handle the amount of poison in his bloodstream. Any longer though, it wouldn't have mattered much." She shrugs.

"Why do I feel like this has turned into a secret club within a secret club?" Tony looks back and forth between them until Bruce turns to face him. He holds that nervous gaze with his steady one. 

"Uh, you see, lithium oxide is something I worked on... in, uh, my freshman year of college." Bruce scratches the back of his neck, a nervous tick. "It was more or less a personal endeavor of mine. But it didn't serve the purpose it was supposed to so I donated it to a think tank and never looked back. I guess somebody managed to tweak it enough to make it useful." His hand falls and he ducks his head. He looks and sounds like he's practically drowning in self-deprecation. 

"And that think tank was S.H.I.E.L.D.," Natasha takes over the explanation. "But as far as I'm aware, the formula hasn't changed since S.H.I.E.L.D. got hold of it. Didn't need to. You already had the perfect antitoxin for poison in the blood, and I think you know that or else you wouldn't have wondered if the antitoxin was lithium dioxide in the first place, Doctor."

"I think you might be giving my ego a little too much credit there, Agent Romanoff. I was wondering if something else that has an immediate effect on diverse poisons in the bloodstream had been invented since my work on the lithium dioxide, maybe something while I was away from the scientific community."

"Nope, still just yours. Because it works." 

"Not the way it was intended," Bruce repeats in mild frustration.

Tony watches the back and forth maddeningly. He wants to get to the bottom of this. He wants to chip away at Bruce's fifty layers of self-defeat. Instead, he raises a glass. 

"Well, then, a toast to Dr. Banner is in order," Tony begins as the others grab drinks for themselves. He notices the way Bruce flinches. Is the guy really that full of self-hatred that he can't even tolerate a toast in his honor? Yeah, that's definitely something he has to change if he can. "Here's to Dr. Banner, for helping to save my life even if that wasn't his intention."

Bruce dares to look at Tony. He hadn't thought of it that way. His "failed" antitoxin had still managed to save this man and he likes this man a lot - or at least as much as he can allow himself to - so for a moment he isn't disappointed anymore. He didn't get what he wanted, but this time maybe it's a good thing. For once, something seems to have worked in his favor. 

Tony takes a swig of his drink, holding Bruce's hesitant gaze and relishing in his equally hesitant smile with a warm gaze and confident smile of his own. Then Tony's face turns cold and uncertain as Bruce's eyes fall again and the other man turns and walks towards the shattered window to gaze out at the New York skyline. Tony can tell that Bruce is distancing himself.

Maybe he's even planning his escape, how he's going to slip out in the middle of the night when they're all asleep or when Tony's too drunk to see straight. That thought gives Tony pause and he looks down at his drink in slight disgust at the idea of letting himself get so far gone that he wouldn't even notice Bruce's disappearance. But that's not possible, he reminds himself. He's barely known the man a day, but he knows he can't let this one go. Bruce is one of the very few special keepers that Tony has come across in his privileged, people-saturated existence and he knows that he would notice immediately if this one got away. He would feel it.

So before he can get too drunk to articulate his selfish desire to hold this captivating physicist prisoner in his lab, Tony crosses the expanse of room from the bar to the window, leaving the others to mingle without him for a few minutes. 

"What are you drinking to, Dr. Banner?" He asks casually, but gives the window a wary glance as a memory of being thrown out of it floods his mind.

"Hmm? Oh, me? I'm not- No, I'm not drinking to anything. I-I don't drink at all if I can avoid it," Bruce stammers and stutters, avoiding eye contact with the billionaire.

"Really? Because of the Other Guy?" 

"Well, he doesn't take very kindly to foreign contaminants. Alcohol is a poison so I really can't venture more than a glass before wondering if he'll start to get to thinking I'm trying to kill us again," Bruce explains, but Tony notices that there's something off in his tone.

"I suppose that makes sense, in theory." Tony nods his head from side to side. "But a lot of the stuff we put in our bodies is nothing but chemicals that are slowly killing us so why would this be any different? And, correct me if I'm wrong - no, really, please do - but your metabolism is running pretty quick now right? Like Rogers?"

"Uh, yeah. What gave it away? My gorging on the shawarma like it was my first meal in days? Thanks for buying me that many servings, by the way."

"Yeah, little bit. And don't mention it. It was my pleasure. _And_ it was kind of hot." Tony gives a single, playful nod, his smile entirely lascivious.

"Oh my god, no," Bruce practically snorts and shakes his head. Is this how it's always going to be with him? But he quickly reminds himself that he can't stick around to find out. "More like embarrassing."

"Anyways, here's another theory for you to consider. Your metabolism should burn through the alcohol at the same speed Rogers' does. The Other Guy won't even get a chance to register it as a poison. Thanks to your metabolism, there's no way it could be a threat." Tony gives him a hopeful look, sloshing his glass towards him slightly before taking another swig. However, he notices the way Bruce continues to eye the glass warily. 

"Uh," Bruce clears his throat. "Yeah, I guess. I guess that's a pretty good working theory. But, it's just a theory. And I don't know if I'm in any mood to test it. And, honestly, I just don't really care much for alcohol. Never have. Not even before the accident. So I really don't need it. I-I hope I'm not offending you by refusing a drink, but... I can leave if you'd like."

"What?!" Tony quickly grabs Bruce by his upper arm to hold him in place, but the other man practically goes limp in his hand. Great. He definitely hadn't meant to make him feel threatened. He quickly lets go again. "I mean, no, of course I don't want you to leave. I don't care if you drink or not. I was just trying to help you get over your fear of the Other Guy if that's what was stopping you from enjoying yourself."

Bruce looks like he's shrugged off whatever it was that had just happened and Tony breathes a sigh of relief. "Thanks," Bruce says meekly. "Thanks, but I can enjoy myself without getting tipsy."

"Power to you. Listen, the reason I came over here is because I want to proposition you and-" Tony's eyes widen when he notices the look of horror on the other man's face and his brain, finally catching up with his mouth, processes what he's just said. "Dammit, force of habit. Usually Pepper contacts the people I'm interested in working with professionally. These kinds of speeches are her thing. Obviously, what I meant to say was I have a proposition for you. I mean, unless you're interested in the first possibility. In that case, the elevator's that way. Let's not waste any time." Tony finishes with an easy laugh and he's grateful when Dr. Banner eases as well.

"I'm not like other guys," Bruce says, deciding to roll with the joke. He's surprised at how natural it feels to be bantering with somebody again. He's missed this kind of human interaction. "I don't know you well enough, Tony so for now why don't we discuss the second proposition."

"You know, playing hard to get will get you everywhere," Tony teases, enjoying Bruce's sense of humor and liking the way the doctor opens up ever so slightly with a little coaxing. "Okay, so here's the deal. I want you to stay. I know, I know. Sounds dramatic and cliché. But the thing is, I like you a lot, Dr. Banner. Honestly. You are, incredibly brilliant. When I said you should come by Stark Tower, I meant it. I want you here putting that big brain of yours to proper use."

"Tony-"

"Ah, ah, ah. Hold on, I'm not done. Forget about the Avengers Initiative and S.H.I.E.L.D. and anything else that's troubling you and just consider it. I promise that if you stay, you'll have access to the best of everything. You want your own lab? Done. It's already in the remodel plans. You need protection from that bastard Ross and his groupies? I'll kill him and pay to have it covered up before I let him touch you, understand? I'm literally offering you the keys to the Stark kingdom if you want them. And I don't usually throw myself out there like this, but something tells me you're worth the gamble, Banner. Something tells me I'll regret it if I don't do whatever I can to get you to stay. And something, probably my ego, tells me you want this just as much as I do. So before you freak out and run or sic the Other Guy on me, please think about it. I really, really, really want you to stay. But I really, really, really, _really_ want you to want to stay. Your happiness, big guy. That's what matters. And if Pepper and Rhodey were here, they'd hug you for having this kind of effect on me because, I've gotta be honest, this is kind of unfamiliar territory for me."

Tony's hyperactive pleading comes to a close and Bruce looks up at him with what can only be described by anyone who sees it as an expression similar to a sad puppy. He knits his brow and keeps his lips in a hard line. His eyes flicker back and forth between Tony's eyes and his glass. Finally, he rolls his lips and then opens them slightly. He turns to look back out the window, moving his head slightly as if his mind is so overwhelmed with thoughts that it's moving on its own volition.

"Happiness." The word feels weird on his tongue. It sounds foreign to his ears. "I'm not entirely sure I know what that feels like," he says honestly. There had been fleeting glimpses of happiness, of course. But with emphasis on fleeting. With Betty, he thought happiness was finally his if only he could get the phantom to hold still long enough for him to pin it down. But deep down, it still had been nothing more than a phantom to him and he'd still felt like happiness with Betty was never something for him to keep. He had been right.

"Well, I'm going to change that if you'll let me." The sincerity in Tony's offer is stronger than Bruce's deeply-ingrained tendency to ignore, deny, self-deprecate until the sentiment is dulled and forgettable and, god, it sounds something close to what he thinks happiness should feel like. It pierces him and he looks at the man before he can guard himself once more.

Before he can tell himself otherwise, he knows what he wants. He wants to give Tony that chance. He wants to be with people again. He wants to be appreciated. He wants to play pretend. He wants to try again at pinning the phantom down. 

"You might not like that." Bruce echoes their conversation from the night before and sees the way Tony's face brightens at the little hint of intimacy it implies. It's something that connects them, like an inside joke between old friends. 

"And you just might," Tony says, placing a hand on Bruce's shoulder and squeezing gently before heading back to the others.

The smell of alcohol still lingers after the man has gone and Bruce inches just that much closer to the fresh, night air provided by the glassless window. He stares out at the skyline again, his thoughts violent and fearful enough that the Hulk would certainly stir if one, he hadn't made an appearance a few short hours before and two, if there wasn't something about Tony that the beast seemed to like.

He then looks back at the others, studying them carefully from his safe distance. Thor is laughing wildly as if he's always in a drunken stupor so long as he's surrounded by people he likes, but it's charming. Steve looks reserved and unaffected as he downs what looks to be his fourth glass. Natasha is working steadily on her second, taking just a few sips here and there to ward off intoxication. Clint is already beginning to lose himself as he sways and goads the others into crazy antics; he seems a lot like a teenager out of his depth at a frat party - harmless enough if not stupid.

Then there's Tony. The billionaire looks as though he's also losing sight of sobriety as he pours himself another drink with an unsteady hand. And Bruce feels his stomach drop.

He can't stay. He wants to. But he can't. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Bruce tosses and turns in the darkness of the guest room Tony had given him a few hours prior. He wants to be grateful for it. He should be grateful for it. The others had been relegated to much less comfortable quarters in the lower, undestroyed rooms of the tower. He knows those rooms are mostly office suites with pull out couches, albeit luxurious pull out couches because Tony Stark doesn't skimp on anything. The others hadn't complained, but he can't help feeling the message Tony is trying to send by giving him the sole guest room of the penthouse. He knows the gesture is tied to Tony's comments earlier that evening. He wants Bruce to stay. He's giving him preferential treatment to make a point of showing him how it could be. And it feels better than Bruce wants to admit.

_But I can't stay._

He groans and turns over again. He had hoped that he could get a few decent hours of sleep before vanishing into the night. But as he lays there wondering how Tony will take it when he wakes up to find him gone and whether or not he'll be intrinsically offended that he had dared to offer such an ungrateful guest a nice room, Bruce realizes sleep isn't going to happen no matter how much he needs it.

And he _needs_ it. His bones ache in ways he'd forgotten they can ache. He had been so long without incident. So long that a single transformation would have been painful enough, but, no, he'd gone and had two within the same day. Of course, the second had been his choice and he can't ignore that fact no matter the implications. He could have run right then and there. He had wanted to run. He wasn't supposed to "suit up" with the rest of them. But the siren call of Stark Tower had been too strong. 

 _"Just like you said."_  

Bruce sits up at the memory, Steve's clear voice in his head. Tony had been expecting him. He runs his hands through his hair and sighs. Tony had been expecting him.

And Tony is still expecting him. He's expecting him to be here in the morning. Bruce shakes his head and a low chuckle settles into the back of his throat. He almost feels like a jerk who's running out after having gotten what he wants from an inconsequential lover. Only, the chuckle dies when he realizes he hasn't actually gotten anything he wants yet. And he's not going to. He doesn't get things he wants because something always interferes. Something has interfered again and he can't stay. 

Tony had been expecting him, he thinks again. And he had come. He hadn't let him down that time and it makes him feel a little bit better about the fact that he's going to let him down this time. But only a little bit. He's glad the Other Guy had been there to be a hero for once, to bring Tony back from near-death. He shudders just thinking about it. Tony had been expecting him and he's glad it had worked out for the billionaire just like Bruce's failed antitoxin had worked out. Bruce has saved Tony twice now, if only by proxy. But... That still doesn't mean he can stay.

Bruce sighs long and hard. He flips off the covers and dangles his feet over the bed. Tony is expecting him to be here, but he won't be. He has to leave. He has to do it now. No more stalling. 

He quickly pulls his clothes back on and remakes the bed. He's just finished when he's startled by an unexpected voice. 

"Dr. Banner, I'm sorry to alarm you, but my readings indicated you were awake."

"Uh... Yeah..." Bruce looks around in confusion before it dawns on him. "J.A.R.V.I.S.? This is J.A.R.V.I.S. right?"

"Yes, sir. As you are awake, Mr. Stark is in need of immediate assistance. My readings indicate he is in great distress."

"Distress? Is he- Is he intoxicated?" Bruce asks the question, slightly hesitant even though his feet are yelling at him to forget about the why or how and just do what they do best: run. Run to Tony. 

There is a moment of silence and Bruce wonders if he's somehow offended the semi-sentient computer program. Tony hadn't gotten too far gone earlier in the evening in spite of his and Clint's wishes to do otherwise. Steve had stepped in forcefully and insisted they should have clear heads for the next morning's debrief of the battle. Tony hadn't argued and had put away the alcohol obediently, almost surprisingly, but that also didn't mean he couldn't have gone back for more later or that he didn't have some in his room. 

"J.A.R.V.I.S.? Still with me?"

"My apologies, Dr. Banner. I was scanning Mr. Stark for further diagnosis. The scan shows there is no indication of intoxication. My readings do, however, indicate he may be suffering from an acute anxiety attack."

Bruce's face falls and he runs out of his room and down the hall in the only logical direction of where Tony's suite might be. J.A.R.V.I.S. helps him along the way and soon Bruce reaches the room, throwing open the door without hesitation. In the middle of the room there is a large bed and Tony is thrashing violently upon it. He's tangled up in one of his sheets and the restriction appears to be scaring him further. 

Bruce runs over to the side of the bed and quickly begins to try and unwrap Tony from his constraint, although being kicked at and punched at makes it a little difficult. Once he's torn the sheet away from the bed, he works on trying to wake the other man. 

"Tony!" Bruce says forcefully, but also in the gentlest voice he can manage. "Hey, Tony, wake up." He reaches out for the flailing arms and grabs them carefully, trying not to hold them too harshly as to make matters worse. He takes his thumbs and begins rubbing deep, soothing circles into the skin of those arms. Tony becomes less violent, but he's still twitching and shaking uncontrollably. "Tony, you're having a nightmare. Can you hear me, Tony? Come on. Come back to reality, Tony. It's okay. You're not in any danger. It isn't real. You're safe. I won- I won't let anything happen to you, Tony. But you've got to wake up now. Come on." Bruce goes silent as he feels Tony trying to stir from his deep sleep. He knows that his voice has finally pierced Tony's subconscious and he's trying to respond. 

Tony comes to with a start. He looks around, breathing deeply, muttering swear words under his breath. Then his eyes focus in the near-dark and lands in confusion on the figure sitting on the edge of his bed. The faint glow of his arc reactor illuminates Bruce's calm face and Tony inhales sharply before releasing the last bit of his anxiety on exhale. 

"Banner?"

"Yeah, it's me," Bruce answers him. "J.A.R.V.I.S. alerted me. Are you okay?"

Tony blinks at the question. "Am... I?" 

"J.A.R.V.I.S., low light, please," Bruce asks and waits for the AI to comply.

He then lets go of Tony's arms and stands over him to study him for any injuries from thrashing around or for any head trauma that might have gone unchecked after the battle. Tony tries to protest, the smell of stale alcohol giving Bruce pause more than any complaints from Tony himself, but Bruce shakes it off and continues to examine Tony until he's satisfied that it really was only mental rather than physical.

"What happened?" Tony asks when the other man backs away finally. "The last thing I remember is falling and...and..." He closes his eyes as a sharp pain inflicts him and fire dances in his memory.

"Hey, hey, no, it was just a nightmare."

"A nightmare..." Tony looks at Bruce, feeling uncertain. "Just a nightmare?"

"You were probably dreaming about the battle and you had an anxiety attack. That's not uncommon after traumatic experiences."

Tony buries his hand in his face. He wants to focus on Bruce's calm voice. He wants to focus on its steadiness. Its rightness. "I-I can't..."

"There's something you can't do?" The question is leading rather than demanding and Tony looks back at the doctor. "You can tell me if you want or if you can't say it yet, we'll just wait until you can. Is that okay?"

Tony gives him a nod of his head. He wants to push Bruce away. He wants to shut him out of his room and regain control over his emotions. This is too vulnerable. This isn't the kind of impression he wants to leave on the physicist. And, oh god, what if it scares him off? What if the other man runs back to Calcutta and leaves him? He doesn't want that. He barely knows this man, but he knows he doesn't want that.

"Tony? Tony, are you drifting?" Tony refocuses his gaze on the concerned, dark eyes fixed on him. Then, before he knows it, Bruce's arm is around his shoulders and he's being pulled out of bed. "Are you good? Can you walk? You got a little buzzed before bed so..." Bruce doesn't finish and Tony thinks for a brief moment it's because he can't finish that statement for some reason. Then again, maybe there is no way to finish it nicely.

"I'm good," Tony responds, his voice beginning to regain its usual strength. He moves out from under Bruce's arms, swaying just slightly, and straightens as if to prove it.

"Good." Tony looks at him curiously. There's something in the doctor's tone that betrays he's got something on his mind. "Then why don't you show me your lab again?" Tony scrunches his face. Science is great, but it's an odd request. "Look, I'm guessing you probably don't want to try sleeping again just yet-"

"No, no, I can't." Tony hates how whiny that sounds, but if Bruce thinks it sounds whiny, he doesn't make any indication of it. He just nods his head in understanding.

"Alright, so why don't we go down to your lab and just tinker with something instead?"

"What about you?" Tony finally feels his mental faculties coming back to him and he would be lying if he said it had nothing to do with Bruce's suggestion that they work on something together in the lab. "You, you must be exhausted, Doctor. You transformed twice within a matter of hours. That's not a usual occurrence, right? I've read your file, remember? And I've seen it firsthand now. That can't be easy on you."

"It hurts like hell," Bruce answers pointedly and turns away with a shrug that says, "but what can I do?" Tony studies him carefully. The previously calm and self-assured physicist, the one at his bedside, now seems to have retreated back in on himself. "But it's okay. I, uh, I wasn't really getting much sleep anyhow. I was awake when J.A.R.V.I.S. alerted me. I think that might be why he alerted me at all."

"It is, Dr. Banner," J.A.R.V.I.S. confirms.

Tony studies Bruce a little more and then it dawns on him. Bruce had been awake for a reason. He had been contemplating leaving. Maybe he wouldn't have given in, but of course the urge must still be there. It only makes sense. He knows the man has been on the run for several years, avoiding Ross and close relationships and densely populated areas with nowhere to flee should the beast take over.

He looks him over sadly and then notices his shoes. He had already put on his shoes! Tony's heart sinks more than he thinks it probably should, but he doesn't care. That answers his question. Bruce hadn't been contemplating running when J.A.R.V.I.S. had alerted him. He had been almost out the fucking door!

"Yeah, science," Tony blurts out. "I like that idea if you're up for it." Bruce nods and Tony can't deny the feeling of relief that comes over him. He still has a chance to convince Bruce that staying and working with him is a good idea. So he quickly puts on a more lab appropriate outfit and ushers Bruce down to the lab as fast as he can without giving any hint of how desperate he is to make this work.

Bruce allows Tony to usher him down to the lab and Tony immediately pulls up a blueprint and specs of the helicarrier. Bruce wonders at this for a moment and Tony seems to realize his confusion so begins to explain.

"When the lab exploded it was because one of the main turbines had been taken out. I went in with my suit and fixed it before we could drop. Not really a big deal. Did get a bit dicey though when Cap didn't pull the lever right away. Took a few spins in the propellers."

Bruce listens in near-horror at how nonchalant Tony is being about the whole thing. "Do you get a kick out of near death experiences? Is this something I should know about you?"

Tony laughs, uneasiness in his tone at first, but then smiles a little more broadly. "Uh, not really, but it has kind of turned into a hobby of mine. A running gag the universe seems to think I enjoy more than I actually do. You get used to it. I guess. And are you saying you actively want to know things about me, Doctor?"

Bruce can see Tony thrashing violently in his mind. That doesn't seem like a man who has gotten used to nearly dying all the time. "I'm not saying that per se," Bruce settles on responding to Tony's joke." He then licks his lips, tongue twitching to find out the details of the incident, particularly where his alter ego is concerned. "So, I assume this all happened while I- The Other Guy was making a mess?"

"Yeah, you were going to town," Tony says with a smile which is the opposite of how he should be responding as far as Bruce is concerned. "Wish I could have seen it, but I was otherwise preoccupied."

Bruce scrunches his face. "I could have torn the place apart. Then your work on the turbine wouldn't have even mattered. You realize that, right?"

"I realize that, you know, in theory." Tony tilts his head from side to side a few times. "But still would have been awesome. Plus, I'm pretty sure I could have stopped the big guy before that happened had I been present. I'm pretty persuasive, tend to get my way. Red Riding Hood and Goldilocks were completely out of their depth. And don't even get me started on Fury sending in a fighter pilot. Shit call."

Bruce wants to laugh. He honestly wants to laugh. Tony's endless stream-of-consciousness is... Endearing. Even when he's spouting absolutely nonsensical notions about a monster who could destroy him with one hard squeeze. It would be like Popeye with a can of spinach. Which is why he can't laugh. "Fury had to do something."

"Doesn't mean it was right," Tony counters flippantly. "But while we're on the topic of shit things..." He enlarges the holographic screen to accommodate them both. "I'm going to make some strongly worded suggestions to Fury about design changes to the helicarrier. Because currently it's a disgrace to decent engineers everywhere."

"Really?" Bruce looks at him, one eyebrow raised in skepticism. He pulls out his glasses and puts them on to study the information on the screen. "Because it seems like a pretty good working model to me. A pretty amazing feat of technology actually."

"You're just saying that because you don't know what I'm capable of yet," Tony says, a glint in his eye that Bruce isn't sure he's comfortable with. It's magnetic, but there's also a hint of danger in it. He shrugs and waits for Tony to continue.

"See, here's what I'm thinking. First of all, we scrap this waste of space here." Tony gestures to a place in the middle of the lowest level of the helicarrier blueprint and Bruce understands immediately what he means. It's the nearly indestructible holding cell that had been included for the sake of containing and disposing of the Hulk if necessary. He watches as Tony casually, confidently cuts that area from the blueprint and deposits it in a digital waste basket. "Now that that eyesore is out of the way, we can streamline this thing. Move the barracks over here. Medical bay is literally a million miles away rather than being centrally located so that's dumb. Weapons vault...really? That makes sense _there_? Come on, now. Move that over here. And their lab is seriously lacking in size so let's expand that just a tad, what do you say?"

Bruce watches intently, a thin smile forming against his will at Tony's changes to the blueprint. Maybe the engineer has a few points. The medical bay being centrally located certainly makes sense, but he doesn't quite follow his line of logic on some of the other aesthetic changes. He doubts Fury will either and so chuckles a soft, low chuckle at how that meeting might go. 

"Not sure you really need me to have a say," Bruce says in response to Tony's previous, likely rhetorical question.

"Of course I do." Tony actually looks offended. "Need you to have a say in everything from now on, buddy. Kind of why I propos- I mean, kind of the point of my proposition. Which, you _kind_ of accepted? It was an ambiguous answer, but I usually process ambiguous answers as positively inclined."

"I don't doubt that," Bruce deadpans.

"You have a very sharp tongue. Has anyone told you that before?" Tony looks the picture of complete seriousness as he poses the question.

"Yeah, it's been mentioned once or twice. Not recently, of course." 

"And clearly self-deprecation is your current default setting. Anyways, I'm thinking there's probably a better way to power this massive floating island. Those turbines were nonsense. I'm definitely interested in making this thing more energy efficient and eco-friendly. Especially when it's sitting in the water. Having taken a spin, I'm kinda wondering how much the little fishies in the ocean appreciate it when the thing takes off, you know what I mean?"

"Okay, yeah, yeah." Bruce nods, his ears perking up at the discussion of making the helicarrier more energy efficient, if that's even possible, and of preserving ocean life. "I mean, those are excellent talking points," he says as he squints his eyes at the specs and scratches at his cheek with his index finger a few times. "But at the same time, I'm not sure there's any current workaround. You have to have propellers of some kind to get it up into the air so unless there's a way to prevent fish from being sucked into the bottom without sacrificing the overall propulsion-"

"Now you're talking, Dr. Banner," Tony cuts him off and immediately begins working on possible designs based on his brainstorming. 

Bruce watches in awe as Tony draws up one design after another. He feels a thrill as Tony draws him into the process and they bounce ideas off each other seamlessly. He can't help the thought forming in the front of his mind that whispers this is how it should be. And he laughs genuinely to himself when Tony loses his second wind and all but collapses outright on one of the work benches before staggering over to a couch and muttering something about waking him in five minutes because he obviously thinks a five minute power nap is all he needs to recharge his batteries. 

Bruce continues working on finishing a spec he and Tony had been working on while Tony dozes. Once he's finished, he lets out a long sigh, taking in his surroundings as he does. It's the kind of lab he would have killed for back in his wide-eyed youth. The hum of the space is almost hypnotic and that distinct smell that labs have is somehow pleasantly more sharp here than other labs he's been in. Then his eyes land on Tony. Tony who is sleeping peacefully. Tony who thinks Dr. Bruce Banner is fascinatingly brilliant. Tony who thinks the Hulk isn't just a monster to run away from. Tony who wants to give him this space or another space or any space so long as he'll stick around. Tony who...

Bruce watches in sudden concern as Tony begins to twitch again. He bridges the gap between them and stands cautiously over the dreaming man. Tony's muscles spasm and he mutters something indistinct. Bruce sets his hand on Tony's shoulder, ready to wake him if it gets worse, but to his surprise Tony relaxes into his touch and his creased brow smoothens. 

Bruce's head falls immediately, his eyes squeezed shut and his other hand coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose harshly. He knows what a man in pain looks like. He knows what a man who's frightened of that pain looks like. He sees it when he looks in the mirror. And right now, Tony could very well pass as his reflection.

He should run now. But will anyone understand what Tony is going through when he's gone? Will anyone see the pain that he can see? No, he's not egotistical enough to assume that nobody else cares enough about Tony to see what he's going through. Hell, he's certain there are others who care about him more than he has any right to and who will do everything they can for him.

He should run now. He has every chance while Tony is asleep. While Tony is... Vulnerable. Tony who wants to give him the keys to the Stark kingdom. Tony who wants him to stay. Tony who seems determined to fix a man he's only just met while he, himself breaks. 

He should run now. But he can't.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Bruce hadn't really been able to unpack any of his few belongings from his bag while he was on board the helicarrier. He'd spent nearly the entire time in the lab and had then made, well, an untimely exit. But the bag had remained in the private barrack that had been given him for the duration of his stay on board. So he finds himself standing in that private barrack going through it, checking thoroughly for anything missing that might have been procured by S.H.I.E.L.D. or any bugs.

He doesn't like that he has to be suspicious, but he definitely has to be suspicious. At all times. At all costs. Of course, he hopes his suspicions are unfounded this time as that could make the upcoming debrief a lot more awkward than it needs to be. As in, maybe a green, raging Hulk appearance which wouldn't be appreciated - by either S.H.I.E.L.D. or himself - less than 24 hours since his last appearance on this massive, flying ship.

"I didn't figure you'd stick around this long, Doctor." Bruce turns from his task at the now-familiar voice and sees Natasha standing in the doorway. "I thought you'd be halfway back to the middle of nowhere when we woke up this morning. And that the rest of us would have to form a sad little support group for Stark," she adds with a slightly sardonic tone. "But I guess you wanted to collect your things first."

For someone the Other Guy had nearly severely injured, or worse, the day before, Bruce thinks she seems fairly nonchalant about being alone with him. Then again, maybe she's been trained to not let fear last longer than is situationally necessary. He folds up his jacket and places it back in his backpack as casually as he can. He doesn't need her to get the drift of what he's been doing.

But she seems to understand his wariness of her and so continues, "Don't worry, Dr. Banner. I'm not here to keep an eye on you and make sure you make it to the debriefing. And you don't need to bother with checking through everything. S.H.I.E.L.D. has more effective ways of keeping track of people. We wouldn't bug you and risk other interested parties picking up that kind of trace."

Bruce lets out a deep breath. Yeah, he probably should have guessed this wouldn't be S.H.I.E.L.D.'s way. He decides to trust her, maybe as a peace offering since they had gotten off on the wrong foot, and places everything back into the bag and zips it up before turning back to her.

"Force of habit," he offers. It isn't a total falsehood. "And I guess it's really a bit silly considering I'll be staying in plain sight for a little while longer." She arches an eyebrow and he purses his lips considering whether or not he should divulge his plans to her. Of course, she'll probably figure it out soon enough. "Stark invited me to stay with him at the tower for a while. I don't really have anywhere else to go at the moment and..." He remembers the night before with brief clarity. "And he's not an easy man to say no to. Figure it can't hurt working with him for a few weeks or so before I figure out my next move."

Natasha tilts her head. "So you aren't immune to batted eyelashes after all." It isn't a question, but a confident statement. "I guess Fury sent the wrong person to pick you up in India." There's teasing in her tone no matter how subtle.

Bruce gives a genuine, small laugh at this. "I guess you're just not my type," he answers, relaxing a little. "Sorry."

"Don't worry, I'm not offended." Natasha studies him carefully, noticing immediately the newness of his outfit and guessing it to be one of Tony's. "Nice outfit, Doctor. Yellow is a good color on you." 

Bruce blinks a few times. He looks down at his shirt and twists his head slightly, a very small smirk playing at the edge of his lips. "So I've heard, but thanks." 

He had woken up that morning in Tony's lab, having fallen asleep with his head against one of the workbenches. Tony had been all but standing over him, prodding him to get up and follow him. He had. And it had resulted in being fitted in one of Tony's many never-even-worn dress suits - sans jacket. When Bruce had emerged from the closet, Tony had been waiting to inspect whether or not it would be suitable and had immediately, wholeheartedly approved with, "And here I thought purple was your color. Guess I was wrong."

Natasha notices the thin smile and slightly distant look in Bruce's eyes and quickly reads it with ease. "One of Tony's?"

"Hmm? Oh, uh, yeah. I didn't really want to take it, but the rest of my clothes were here and, well, Tony made a pretty convincing argument that I was already wearing an outfit he'd given me so why refuse another?"

"I'm sure he's got plenty more where those came from. He won't miss it." There are a few beats of silence and then Natasha goes in for the metaphorical kill. "But are you absolutely certain he's your type, Doctor?" She sees the look of puzzlement on his face. "I wouldn't want to see you get in over your head with a man like Tony Stark."

"Uh, it's... It's only temporary," he says, not sounding too defensive or overly taken back. "And it's not like I'm picking out curtains or anything," he adds with forced humor in his tone. "Tony is... I can tell Tony is a piece of work, sure. But so am I and if it doesn't work out, I just leave sooner."

"Sounds reasonable," Natasha offers hopefully before narrowing her eyes. "But I just thought I would give you a fair warning about what you might be getting yourself into. Stark isn't an easy man to be around on his good days. On his bad days, well, you'll need your wits about you if you're still there when he has one of those. I've read your file, Dr. Banner. I know about your condition."

Bruce feels his face twist slightly in confusion. He's sure Natasha means well, but he is perfectly aware of what he signed up for the night before when he had decided to forego his original plan to leave. "I'm... I'm fairly certain everybody knows about my condition, Agent Romanoff. I wouldn't have agreed to stick around the tower for a while if I didn't think I could handle Tony's... antics without incident."

"Not that condition, Doctor," Natasha corrects and he scrunches his face, wondering what she's driving at. "I've read your _complete_ file." He's still not sure what that might mean. "They're not included in the Initiative documentation. Fury figures there's some things that are maybe a little too sensitive. At the very least there are things that could make us more vulnerable to attack since the Initiative documentation is less classified than other things within the system. Fury trusts me with the information in those files so I can do what I can to protect everyone and, yes, keep better track of Initiative members should it come to that." 

Bruce feels his stomach turn slightly. This is why he doesn't trust people. This is why he's wary of trusting her, although he realizes she's attempting to be forthcoming with him in her own way. "What exactly are you saying?"

"I-" She seems hesitant. There's almost a pained look in her eye, but he wouldn't quite peg it as sympathetic. There's something else to it. "Let's just put it this way. I know why you created the lithium dioxide. I know why you pushed it off onto other people when it didn't serve its purpose. The disappointment... I understand." Bruce listens as calmly as he can, willing himself not to think about the details of the event Natasha is attempting to allude to with delicacy. "That's the condition I'm a little concerned about, Doctor. For your sake. And perhaps to a lesser extent Stark's as well."

Bruce's head falls back on his shoulders and he looks up at the non-descript ceiling as realization hits him. "Right. Yeah," he says, remembering that defeated whisper that had warned him to leave - for this very reason - while he had a chance. "It _is_ something to be concerned about."

"But you're still going to stay," Natasha guesses and he rolls his head back forward and meets her gaze, which is now recognizably sympathetic.

"I'm probably actually more of a piece of work than Tony, but yeah. For a little while anyway."

"Well, best of luck, Bruce," she offers him a small smile. "But don't hesitate to call me if you need any help, understood?" She doesn't stick around to hear his answer to that question and Bruce assumes that maybe it's because it wasn't a question, but an order.

* * *

The band of six unlikely heroes listen with varying degrees of interest as Fury goes over the details of the last few days.

Clint listens with an earnest grimace, deeply vested in knowing just how much damage he had done since Natasha won't tell him.

Natasha listens because it's her duty to listen no matter the topic. So she tries her best to maintain an even interest and to give no outer indication of her mild discomfort during some spots of the narrative. 

Steve listens in a similarly dutiful fashion, but he's missed this - debriefing of a campaign - and he has to try to squash down distracting memories of his past life.

Thor listens with great sorrow, feeling the weight of everything that has passed as if it is all his own doing rather than his brother's.

Tony does next-to-nothing to hide his absolute lack of interest in having the minute details rehashed to him as if he hadn't lived through the entire thing. However, Fury and Natasha both notice that he is slightly more attentive regarding details of his time in the lab with Bruce and details regarding Bruce's time as the Hulk, but then extremely withdrawn when it comes to details of his flight into space and the minutes following.

Bruce wants to listen, wants to be respectful, but he spends most of the debrief breathing deeply and muttering calming mantras in his mind, completely zoned out so that he can't focus on details like being brought against his will, his loss of control or Tony's near death. 

The only time that the six misfits match one another's interest - a strong, somber interest - is when the debrief makes it to fallen agent and friend, Phil Coulson. 

Once this lengthy task is at an end and the subsequent paperwork signed off on by the parties involved, Fury releases a hard sigh and narrows his eye at each of them in a sweeping motion. "I'm sure you're wondering to yourselves, what next. The clean up will be difficult and the media will continue to cover this for weeks, but I'll be handling the World Security Council and Congress. The last thing I want is this becoming a three ring press tour debacle with the six of you at the helm." He narrows his eye at Tony pointedly.

"And what of Loki?" Thor speaks first in concern. 

"He is a war criminal," Fury answers, but looks at him testing.

"I am aware of what this entails, yes." Thor nods. "But if you believe that there is any Midgardian cell that could permanently hold him, you are mistaken. And if you do not relinquish him to the punishment he faces on Asgard, I cannot promise that the wrath of Odin will not be swift and terrible against such disregard." Thor is the picture of solemnity and Fury sighs. 

"Fine, he's your problem," Fury says, waving a dismissive hand. "But you'll need to have him off world today. I can't guarantee you'll have success escorting him back to Asgard if the Council interferes before you do." He can feel Hill's sharp gaze, but it's not like he gives a damn what the Council is going to say. They can shove their high-and-mighty, "greater good" act up their ass after that little nuke stunt. He looks at Stark in consideration before pressing on. "And since I'm feeling especially generous and since this was war, let's talk concessions in exchange for your sealed lips while I work cleanup. I'll see what I can do, within reason."

"I just want a long vacation and maybe some kind of year's worth of free pizza deal from Pepe's," Clint says first. He's already aware of what Fury means by concessions and he's going to take what he can get. He wants to be as far away as possible from S.H.I.E.L.D. and mind control and the memory of what he's done for a while. And free pizza, yeah, that's always something he doesn't mind. "I'll settle for 6 months of pizza, but that's as low as I'll go."

"Wait, so just a vacation and free pizza?" Tony seems puzzled. "You can get that at my place, Barton. You all heard my open invitation to drop by whenever."

"Yeah, well, if it's all the same to you, chilling in a semi-destroyed building dedicated to your ego and science-on-steroids isn't really my idea of a vacation. Of course, if there's free pizza, I might be willing to make an exception when I get back from my vacation," Clint replies. He looks at the billionaire curiously. He's not certain why Tony seems to think this little musical act of theirs is going to be a permanent gig. He knows Fury wants it to be, but he doesn't see it working out long term. They're all too volatile for that kind of thing.

"You'll get your vacation after you clear the mandatory psych eval," Fury says and Clint sighs a little at this, but knows there's no use arguing. Red tape and all. "But we need to have a little talk about your pizza addiction, Barton. I'm getting real damn tired of you stashing your pizza bagels in every single cooler on this airship and back at HQ."

"If you get him the free pizza, he might not need to stash pizza bagels everywhere for a while," Natasha points out and Fury snorts a little.

"I'll believe that when I see it, Romanoff. But fine, Barton, you can have your damn pizza." Fury rolls his eye and then looks at Natasha next. She waits for the question even if she doesn't need to. She waits because she's not quite certain what she wants. "I assume you want the vacation package too?" 

She doesn't typically do time off. It's not in her nature. She tries to, but she's too easily pulled back in. But she's just spent the past few days worried beyond her usual level of composure on behalf of her partner, having to be reminded of her red ledger, being terrorized by a Hulk, and fighting an army of aliens. So maybe even the infamous Black Widow could use a vacation. She simply nods and lets it go at that. 

Clint begins to open his mouth, but Fury interrupts him with, "No, Romanoff is not getting the pizza as part of her package just so you can take advantage of it." 

"I might take you up on the vodka deal again though," Natasha adds as an afterthought and Fury surprises them all with what looks like an almost-smile. 

"That cannot only be arranged, I would have given you your vodka anyway after your performance."

"Teacher's pet," Clint mutters loudly enough for them all to hear.

"Captain Rogers?" Fury ignores the comment and continues.

The room goes silent for a moment and Steve feels what isn't said. What could Steve Rogers possibly ask for? He knows he's barely a functioning member of society at the moment. He goes to his apartment and it's empty and the silence is too much. He goes to the gym and he fights off his anger and loneliness the only way he knows how. He pores over the files of the people he used to know and he debates endlessly with himself whether or not to startle an elderly Peggy Carter with the revelation that he's alive. And then he draws. When all else fails, he draws. 

He thinks about it a minute longer and then a thought occurs to him. "It might sound crazy, but I've missed having a motorcycle. If I'm going to get around more often, having my own ride might be nice."

There's more silence, careful silence as the others likely don't want it to seem obvious they're pitying him. But Fury actually offers him a thin smile, though not as surprising as the previous one Natasha had coaxed from him. "I was hoping you'd ask for that."

Fury leaves it at that and comes back to Thor. "I don't know if I should offer you anything else since you're already getting your idiot brother at the cost of a very serious pain in the ass for me after you leave. But since I run a clean operation - I heard that, Barton and you just lost a month off of your year of free pizza deal - I'm not about to treat the prisoner as a concession. So anything else you want? Phone call to your girlfriend?"

"I would very much like to speak with, Jane, yes," Thor begins and Fury is about to consider it a lucky roll of the dice until he continues, "but I cannot allow my emotions to overrule my judgment. I will find a way to return to Jane when the time is right, but I am at the moment more concerned about the Tesseract."

"You better not be fucking asking what I think you are." Fury holds up his hand and does his best impression of a snarl. "Because I'm already digging myself a hole for them to bury my ass in as it is letting you take Mr. Real Power back home with you." 

"The Tesseract is too dangerous for mortals who do not understand its power," Thor counters, his voice rising. "It is too dangerous for this realm or any other. It is a stone of power, not a weapon or energy source as you have deemed it, and needs to be taken somewhere it can be kept safe from those who would wish to use its power for far more terrible deeds. I ask for the right to remove it from Midgard because I fear for your safety if it remains."

There's a moment of silence until Maria breaks it with, "You can't seriously be considering his request, Director? At the very least, the Council will want your resignation and then what? We need them in S.H.I.E.L.D.'s corner, sir." 

Fury rolls his eye at this notion. "S.H.I.E.L.D. doesn't _need_ any organization that plays patsy with nuclear orders, Agent Hill. And I'm beginning to imagine what might happen if the WSC tries to confiscate the Tesseract. So, I'm not only considering Thor's request, I'm granting it. End of discussion."

"Yes, sir," Maria responds in that tone that suggests she doesn't necessarily agree with his logic, but he decides to let it slide.

"Alright, Dr. Banner, what have you got for me? And if you value your health or mine, you'll make it reasonable after that last curveball."

Bruce looks around in sudden uncertainty. He had hoped he would be passed over as recompense for the Other Guy's heyday on the helicarrier. But now they're all looking at him, waiting for him. What could he possibly ask for? There's nothing he wants, let alone the topic of what he even deserves, that they could possibly give him.

"I, um, y'know..." He's off to a brilliant start. He sighs and tries again. "I don't think there's anything I really deserve after the Other Guy's little rampage through here. I-I don't really want anything. I mean, there's nothing I can think of. My life doesn't exactly come with a long list of things that can be granted," he finishes with a slight shrug of one shoulder. 

"Well, aren't you just a bundle of self-loathing this morning," Fury snipes at him, but he just tightens his pursed lips, taking it in stride. "So you really don't want anything? Not a damn thing? Not even a head start to Antarctica? Or maybe a bigger, sturdier backpack for your travels, Doc?" 

"Uh," Bruce stutters. He rolls the ideas over in his mind. He probably shouldn't afford himself the luxury of a bigger bag, nothing to weigh him down. And he's constantly losing bags anyhow since Hulk doesn't really do carry-on. A head start would be good if he wasn't planning on hanging around with Tony for a short stint first. "I guess you could forego the glass cell next time you call me in," he settles on a joke. 

"I've seen the blueprints and as I already told Mr. Stark, there was never going to be another glass cell with the Hulk's name written on it so that's not really a concession. But you keep scratching that pretty little head of yours, Dr. Banner. You might come up with something. And if you do, get back to me."

Bruce can only duck his head and ignore Fury's suggestion. There isn't likely anything he'll be able to come up with so getting back with the Director is a moot point. He is, however, a little glad to know that Tony had not only been serious about showing Fury the new helicarrier designs they had come up with, but that the glass cell was no longer an object he would have to be wary of. Maybe not a concession, but still a relief.

Fury shakes his head at the obvious look of defeat on Banner's face. The man clearly has no intention of getting back with him so he turns his attention towards Tony instead. Oh, this should be fun. "You know, Stark, I'm damn near tempted not to give you any concessions. And unless you want Senator Stern's head or something, I don't think I've got anything you'd be interested in."

"You must have missed the memo, but I'm not head-hunting Senators anymore. Now I'm more in the market for a General," Tony says as casually as if he's just saying his own name.

Bruce feels himself go blank - which is probably a good thing since it sure beats the alternative. He looks at the man sitting next to him with absolute confusion and then back to Fury to see his reaction. It's hard to tell since Fury seems to only have one generic scowl with the occasional thin smile that doesn't do much to counter the scowl. He's sure Tony probably thinks Fury uses that scowl even when he's telling his grandmother he loves her or something. Of course, he's not sure why he's so sure about what Tony probably thinks. 

"What exactly are you suggesting, Stark?" Fury asks and Bruce waits in silent blankness to hear how Tony might respond.

"Well, since Bruce here doesn't have the good sense - no offense, Doctor - to use his concession to get Ross off his back then I'll take that concession for him," Tony explains and Bruce isn't entirely certain yet if he should or shouldn't be offended regardless Tony's little adlibbed apology. "So that's what I want, Fury. I want you to use whatever you've got in your arsenal to make Ross a non-issue."

Fury laughs, but Bruce notices - in spite of his jumbled thoughts - that it's still with a scowl. "You really think it's that simple, Stark?"

"For _the_ spy and his hive of "Yes Sir" assassins and interlopers? Yeah, I do."

"I can't actually believe what I'm hearing here, Stark," Fury tries again, fingers on his temples in frustration, and Bruce debates whether or not he should awkwardly intervene. "This is fucking crazier than letting Thor over there disappear with two very integral items connected to intergalactic warfare."

"I'm not budging on this, Fury. Any expenses you procure while trying to make this happen for us, I'll gladly cover." Bruce blinks. _Us? "_ Just make it happen. I don't want him anywhere near Bruce again."

Bruce tries not to look at Tony, or the other members of the team, or Maria Hill, or Nick Fury. He doesn't want to look at anyone. He wants to crawl under the conference table and pretend it's a dimension to another world, a safer world, a world where conversations like this never even have to happen.

"Look, I'm going to run with your request, Stark, but only because A. I like Dr. Banner and happen to be of the mind that General Ross is a crazy bastard and B. I'm real damn surprised Tony Stark is asking for concessions on other people's behalf so that alone deserves a little positive reinforcement." Bruce finally steals a glance at Tony and then at Fury. Fury has just agreed to Tony's concession, but the gazes the two men hold are like steel. "But let me be very clear with you both. I can't make any guarantees. General Ross is a very big fish and this isn't going to be some over the counter remedy we're talking here."

"Fair enough," Tony answers easily and Bruce wonders if he has already, in fact, fallen into an alternate universe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. Pepe's was the only pizza place I could immediately recall from the comics so if there is a more appropriate one you know of, please feel free to let me know and I'll make a quick edit :)  
> 2\. I couldn't recall if Steve already had his motorcycle in any of the deleted scenes so I just went with he didn't since I couldn't think of anything else for Steve to ask for.


End file.
